The habits
What is a habit?
It is a behavior or learned behavior that is repeated continuously, that is, it is a way of proceeding or behaving correctly, acquired by the repetition of an act or behavior, as well as by the instinctive tendency. It comes from the Greek verb "habitus" which means custom.
This definition of what a habit involves a range of behaviors or customs that are given by the daily practice of routines. Most of the habits or routines that are applied allow people to live without thinking at every moment what they have to do to fulfill them. Having good habits will allow people to be accepted by the family and those around them, since they will behave correctly, which will give them security in the activities they do and allow them to live happily.
What are the routines?
Habits are important part of daily life. Each person has their own routines that they repeat every day until they become habits which they perform unconsciously, such as:
Brushing teeth.
- Get up daily at the same time, even without an alarm clock.
- Lie on the same side.
- Walk in a certain way.
All these routines are done automatically and without thinking because of the frequency in which they are repeated, so that when they are done they allow the mind to occupy other things. An example of a ritual in the life of a small child is at bedtime, it is called routine because it is done daily and has several steps to follow as they are: take off the street clothes to put on your sleepwear, brushing teeth, sit on the bed always on the same side and take off the slippers to lie down, put the pillow always in the same way and wait for mom or dad to come to pray or read a story to end the day in peace, at the end They cover with a blanket and give him a kiss wishing him a good night.
This routine can be repeated for years every night, until it becomes a very valuable habit.
Rules for the promotion of habits
The fulfillment of routines is beneficial for the children, because in this way the formation of habits suitable for their life will be encouraged in them, however, to achieve a continuous practice of these routines some rules will be necessary, which must be clear and concrete. so that children, parents and teachers can carry them out easily.
The rules must be established according to the needs of each family or school group, and compliance with these also involves disciplines.
It is worth mentioning a verse of the Bible that says: "For the Lord whom he loves disciplines" Letter of Hebrews 12: 6, understanding that whenever love is manifested it is spoken of correcting for the well-being of the loved one. Not always will be the best parents or teachers those who allow children to do their holy will, because what they want to do is not always the best for their lives, so we talk about rules to get to promote habits correctly in the minors You have to remember that you should not let a child do his will, because it can become capricious.
However, it is not necessary to live under a regime of terror and iron discipline, but simply to mark and set limits to help children feel safe in their walk through life.
Children must clearly understand that when they are called or corrected, it is not because of a lack of love, but on the contrary, they are made to see their failures out of love and because they want welfare.
To show a child that his fault or mistake has been excused, after speaking with him it is wise to say a word of encouragement and even give him a hug, requesting a smile and giving him another.
Emphasize the establishment of rules, may seem old and outdated, because today we talk about never deny anything to a child to not traumatize them, not to mention the word "NO" because it would frustrate their initiative and creativity.
If from childhood a child is allowed to live without rules or discipline he will begin to have problems that will increase as he grows, so the bigger the child the bigger the problems. All this can be exaggerated and even in bad taste, because no one likes to be marked rules or principles to follow and comply, however listed below is a series of principles that the Houston, Texas, department developed because the problems with young people they are increasingly serious. The document is titled "How to spoil your child" and finally points out these tips.
- Starting from his childhood, give him everything he wants, so he will believe that everyone has the obligation to give him things without him making the least effort.
- When he learns to swear, he laughs, so he thinks these things are funny and he wants to say other funny things as he grows up.
- Never impose any spiritual education, always let him decide for himself.
- Do not use the word "Bad" with him, he may develop a guilt complex.
- Do absolutely everything for him, so he gets used to throwing all the responsibility to another.
- Let him read any magazine or book they find.
- Discuss frequently in their presence, so you will not be surprised if your home is disrupted later.
- Give him all the money he wants, never let him win his own. Why should the same difficulties happen to you?
- Satisfy every whim and every whim he has for his comfort and pleasure, indulge every desire, if not, he can be frustrated.
- Despite the evidence always defend it in front of their neighbors, teachers and the police, all are predisposed against their children.
- When he is in trouble excuse them saying "We could never do anything for him"
- Prepare for a life of sadness, the most likely thing is that they will have it.
Now is an ideal time for parents and teachers to reflect: Do I love my son as much as to set rules and discipline them? What lifestyle do I want my children or students to learn to live? Am I forging successful men and women, or unsuccessful beings? Is it worth pointing out and marking rules or guidelines at home or in the classroom?
The answer to the questions above and many others that may arise at this time will only be found in the hearts and minds of people who wish to do good and fully love those little ones they hold in their hands, with the sweet responsibility of to train them as men and women of profit for this world in which they live.
To talk about compliance with rules and discipline, it is also necessary to talk about the motivation to comply with them.
What is motivation?
It is a psychological factor, whether conscious or not, that predisposes individuals to perform certain acts or actions in order to achieve a goal or the satisfaction of a need, that is, is the cause or reason that moves a person to act in a certain way.
According to the previous definition, we can say then that the motivation is the set of causes or reasons that cause a person to react so that they do what is expected of them.
Of course, in the promotion of habits, we will be talking about a positive motivation to help the child to carry out routines that allow him to transform them into positive habits.
To motivate a child to perform the activities that are expected of him it will be necessary to provide incentives, which may be only words of recognition or a reward for what he has done correctly, for example, when a child is fostering the habit of go to the bathroom. to stop using diapers, it is common to be applauded and celebrate when he warns that he wants to urinate and he does it in the toilet, to which the child will respond with a big smile and try to repeat this situation in other occasions. It would be wonderful to be able to determine the exact moment to start inculcating the habits, but precisely nobody knows, however it is clear that the best time to teach children not only habits but anything appropriate to their level is early childhood.
During this period the child will learn more by imitation than by any other means, therefore, their behavior will be a reflection of the habits practiced in their home, that is, the parents will become the mirror in which they reflect the children.
What is responsibility?
A child is two small eyes observing everything that is done, each movement and each gesture, to learn it and repeat it later.
Children are a reflection of what they learn at home mainly, but we can not exclude the school, as the teacher will always be a determining factor in the learning of children.
The presence of the teacher becomes so decisive in the lives of young children that many times the advice or teaching given by the mentor is worth more than by the parents themselves.
Sometimes children say: "This is done because it is done or my teacher says it", which is why sometimes parents approach the teacher begging the child; or do something, because they do not obey him as he does.
It is common to see children who look so much like their father or their mother that they even walk the same, talk the same way, use the same expressions to talk and seek to imitate their parents in everything, they even want to study the same thing they studied.
After reflecting on the above, it can be concluded that it is better that the children under the care of their parents observe a life worthy of imitation and not a life worthy of pity, fear or insecurity or, even worse, a life that nobody I would like to live by having constant confrontations with justice or with society in disagreement with their way of being.
It was already mentioned that the children who grow up being loved are happy children and this will manifest anywhere, however loving them does not mean doing everything or saturating them with instructions, since a united and integrated family will allow each of its members to develop fully. and individually to grow and mature in true harmony.
How to encourage habits in children?
Fostering habits in a child is not an easy task, it requires a lot of dedication, patience and love, this work is fruitful with time, because there are habits that are achieved faster by being continuous and simple practice and there are others that require more constancy. To achieve that this work to be carried out successfully, it will be necessary to have a constant routine on a specific habit since when you want to inculcate a habit in a child with doing what is intended only once is not enough.
For example, if what you want is for the child to learn to brush his teeth, teaching him only once is not enough, it will be necessary to take him with his toothbrush and let him feel how it is done, then he will have to brush his teeth with him so that observe how you do it, in this way the child will finally manage to do it himself three times a day and thus get the right habit for his dental hygiene. Repeating things as many times as necessary allows the child to convert a routine into a habit and thus be able to do so permanently.
Accompanying a child in the promotion of habits is a long way, but it can be nice if they share their victory in some way. However, it can be even more important to share their failures, because a child can fail countless times during the practice your routines, but accompanying him in difficult times with a smile, a word of encouragement, a correction or even a severe wake-up call will make the child feel loved and taken into account.
It is necessary to take into account that here the mother, father or teacher may fall into a big mistake by doing things to their children in exchange for time, it is at this time when it should be remembered that encouraging habits takes time and patience, no doubt adults can perform the activity more quickly, accurately and perfectly than the child, but it is the child who is in the process of learning and is the one who should perform the task, not the adult who is accompanying him in this process
Any unnecessary help delays the development, so it must be mentioned again that it is possible for the child to learn more easily and quickly if he observes others as they perform this work.
The establishment of schedules to develop the routine is very necessary and important, because if children do things as they want and at the time they remember, they will foment disorder and will have disorganized, capricious, willful people and with difficulty adapting to social norms Man is a usual being and this can be seen exemplified in the life of a newborn baby. From the beginning of his life, it is necessary to set schedules for his food and sleep, otherwise it will be very difficult to establish a schedule when he grows up and therefore will be a crybaby and annoying baby.
It is possible to observe harmony and rest when a baby from the beginning of his life is set schedules for eating, sleeping, for daily bathing, etc.
The establishment of time schedule as an important part in the [learning process does not mean that everything must be in a strict and timed order, since it is also necessary to keep in mind that with flexibility it is more pleasant to learn routines and the formation of habits. There will be times when the schedule is modified, for example with the arrival of home visits, a meeting or party that ends very late at night, holidays and many other reasons. The fact that the schedule of the routine is modified does not mean that the work done is abandoned, rather, these small alterations will allow observing the maturity of the child in the acquisition of habits, it will return to the routine that has been practiced without any problem once the unforeseen has ended.
To support the promotion of habits in the child, a table or tables of activities that remind him of what he has to do can be placed in a visible place in the house, preferably in his room or in the classroom. according to the age of the child and the habits that are going to work.
Having this picture in your bedroom, will allow the child to mark in the daily (during the period that the parents or the teacher deem convenient) the tasks that have been done and to be aware of the ones that he still has to do. To motivate the children it is suggested to keep the tables with their signs for a month, and at the end of it give a small prize or recognition, which can be a candy, a simple toy, a book or something that the child has desired For a long time, without forgetting to congratulate him for what he did. On the other hand the child will make his tasks happy if he watches his parents and teachers work with enthusiasm.
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